If you are online, especially on TikTok, you have probably come across the concept of weaponized incompetence. It’s a concept being talked about in regards to relationships where one partner acts like they cannot perform a task or errand in order to get their partner to do it instead. A great example of this is “Every time I do the laundry, I do it wrong. You always do such a good job when you do laundry, can you do this load?”

No, you aren’t bad at the simple task of doing laundry, you simply are choosing to be incompetent out of laziness. Being perfectly capable to figure out a task, yet choosing to not because your partner can do it is weaponized incompetency. In the age of the internet where you can learn how to do literally anything, there is no longer an excuse. Not like there was really an excuse to begin with.

On my Instagram a few days ago, I began to contemplate some of my fashion/garment industry “hot takes.” One of them was that the brand Supreme needs to be stopped, another that if someone exclusively wears big designer, they have no real sense of style. Then I came to the idea of weaponized incompetency in the context of being a consumer. The concept is usually talked about as being a manipulation within relationships, but I think this concept can be broadened into other contexts as well.

I wrote my hot take as “I believe that not learning how to sew a button or hem and using that as an excuse to throw out a perfectly mendable item so you can go buy a new one is weaponized incompetence.”

We have all bought an item with buttons, and saw that attached to the item is an extra button or two, in case you lose one. I am someone who sews, so I keep every button, trim, or anything that has ever come with an item I have bought. Many crafters do this. But I wonder how many people who do not sew or craft hold onto these extra items? They are given to you, they can arguably lengthen the lifespan of your garment, yet I am sure many complementary buttons, beads, and trim ends up in the trash.

The company that made that item intended for the consumer to know how to attach a button in order to keep them wearing the garment. Yet I know many people who do not know how to sew on a button, nor will they do the simple Google search to learn to- let alone spend the three minutes it takes to attach it. They would rather forget the whole thing and replace the entire garment, because hey, it’s so cheap to do so and requires little effort.

This is weaponized incompetence that has been formed in the face of the garment industry not only because of how cheap budget items are for the consumer, but also because the industry directly profits off of consumers who have no idea how to mend their clothing. No consumer does this deliberately, but choosing to be ignorant about how to take care of your garments leads to overconsumption and waste, which then has ripple effects. That is how this is different than the weaponized incompetence we see in relationships. It’s not to be manipulative, but at the end it is weaponized because we all know what the industry is like. Anyone who has access to the internet hears stories about garment workers sewing notes into clothing for help, hears about the factory collapses overseas. Yet they choose to not learn how to make their clothing last longer.

Perhaps a better term would be weaponized ignorance?

This is not to say that everyone needs to learn how to construct a garment from scratch. Absolutely not! But I do think at the very minimum every person should be comfortable threading a needle and sewing a button on their shirt if it pops off. Bonus points if you learn how to do a simple hem in order to make your pants fit you better. There simply is no excuse, beyond physical and mental ailments that would keep someone from being able to do these tasks. We live in an age where we can learn to do anything by simply going online. I think a grand majority of the population can learn how to sew a button on, add a patch to a hole in their jeans, etc.

So I ask you, regular joe-schmo, next time the button pops off your shirt or pants or whatever, figure out how to put it back on. Don’t put the garment at the bottom of your closet or donate it or throw it away. Fix it! You are so capable, as is everyone on this planet, but we make excuses or simply choose not to learn new skills out of a sense of laziness.

Not to mention, there is an element of Western entitlement to this mindset. The idea of “I will not learn this skill because it is XYZ” comes from entitlement. Choosing to not learn a skill that will help you, no matter how small, is entitlement, particularly when you choose to not get someone who does know the skill to do the task for you.

Among my peers, I do not know many of them who go to a tailor outside of getting a garment for a special occasion tailored. When their hem comes loose on their pant? They safety pin it or donate the pants. Which is simply wild, when we live in New York City and there are so many tailors in this city to fix that problem for you. If someone chooses to not help themselves, at least find someone to help you instead of simply giving up on the situation out of inconvenience.

Anyway, learn how to sew a button on and patch your pants. I promise you, it is so simple to do and you will feel good about yourself afterward. And you will have that garment for much longer! It’s truly a win-win-win situation.